I don't know why I've been feeling sentimental these past week. Whenever I quarrel or argue with my parents or best friend, I would start breaking down in the quiet of my room. I wasn't like this. I used to be really strong. Nothing could make me tear easily. But now, I do not just shed one or a few tears, but cry with scarring tears leaving a trail in their path. I do not understand why all the emotional thoughts. Perhaps the wall I have bulit around me has collapsed, leaving me vulnerable? Or was it time for me to release my pent-up sorrow and grief?
The lesson I've learnt is that I should find a pillar of support soon. Someone who knows and understands my feelings thoroughly. But it seems impossible.
I'm always the lone person in an odd-numbered group. I'm mostly invisible until I find a way to get their attention, and even then, I'm only 15% successful. I may be too soft-spoken I guess. Or are others easily distracted?
In any case, I just hope I wouldn't be so vulnerable to silly matters of the heart. I wouldn't want to waste time crying.
~MLLEMERCURIAL~
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